I’m exposing my diary…

Welcome to my new writing space – Exposing My Diary. On this website, I’m revisiting my multiple diaries and poetry books from grade school through high school. Writing them here word for word (for the most part), I’ll be sharing my most innermost 12-year-old thoughts.

Why am I exposing my childhood diary? Simply enough, one day I just felt like it. I wanted to explore the past (at the risk of becoming nostalgic) and my old writings. It’s going to get awkward. It’s going to get cringey (and I simply can’t emphasize this enough). Everything here will be written down word for word, and names will be changed.

Join me in this awkward exploration of first heartbreaks, ~emo~ poetry, mean girls, self-doubt and discovery.

8-10-05

Hey diary, I’m dead tired, but I feel like writing. I just got back from Footloose at Prendie. It was extremely frustrating. Let’s Hear It For The Boy was a mess, I was so mad at everybody. UGghhh. So I’m all sweaty and tired and we were stuck there for like another hour going over stuff. BORING. Well, that’s how a play goes. Today was a memorable day, because a.) it’s Andrew’s birthday! YAY. and b.) The new Green Day video (and my fav song) Wake Me Up When September Ends was released today! Sweet, sweet victory! The video was about these two teens who are deeply in love, but the boy goes off to war and does. It was AMAZING. I mean, c’mon, you can’t get a better plot than that.

Oh yea, I took like 10 quizzes online and… the band I’m most like is Green Day. I’m most like Billie Joe (Sweet with a capital S!), and I’m a tru punk. Tru, tru. A punk, that’s me. All that cliquey stuff is such crap. Following the trends is so 5 years ago. LOL. Even if I don’t look like it, I am one at heart.

Ok I’m half asleep, so good-day and good-night!

I love you…. words cannot describe it. The feeling can.

8-9-05

Hey! It’s me, Camille again. I’m so glad I get to start a new diary. I have so much to tell. Well, school is starting again soon, so on Sunday we had our first volleyball practice. My overhand serve is goin pretty well. But sometimes I can be a bit of a ball hogger. I’ll break outta that habit hopefully. So anyway, we had practice with the 7th grade girls. Ewww, they are so cocky! And they suck at volleyball.

Argh ok so let me move on. Today, a bunch of us went to Scerinos for lunch. Tom was supposed to bring his hot cuz, but he didn’t 😦 so sad. After that we left, and Rachel and Tara got lost, while Becky and me walked home. Then we went to Tara’s house and made s’mores. Yummy. Rachel, however, was being so rude making a mess and telling us to “shut up” every 5 seconds. She really pisses me off! Everything has to go her way all of the time.

Anyway, I went home and went to Footloose. Rachel and Becky got in this stupid fight. Rachel was dragging me into the bathroom every 5 minutes to tell me how much she hated Becky. It was so dumb. But practice was good anyway. I have crushes on two guys from the play – Joe and Andrew – talk about hot! So that was my fine day.

Oh ya, Brianna and I went to Ocean City (oh yea!) on Saturday and Sunday. Wow it was amazing. We were walking back from the deli and on the sidewalk is a stick of margarine. Talk about random! So Brianna goes, “Look a stick of margarine!” So she kicks it and it splats EVERYWHERE. So funny, good times.

Ok I’m about to change the subject completely. But something’s happened to me that hasn’t happened for awhile. I’m happy. Yep, I said it. Yea, I haven’t been hanging out with the popular crowd lately. I’ve been hanging out with my real friends. There was a point this year where all that I cared about was being popular. But that is so fake. I like who my friends are and I’m happy. Popularity isn’t everything. It just creates drama. It’s so cliquey. Well I’m off to bed. Busy day tomorrow. G’NIGHT.

Isn’t it ironic?

Hey! I hope you liked my poem/song. I gotta bunch in my song book. Well, this is my last page in my diary!! I was reading some of my old entries from the beginning of the year. Wow, did I have some crazy time. So much stuff happened. And now I’m off to the big 8th grade. I rule the school!! LOL I’m very excited. I really want to make this an amazing year. I know it will be.

Well my dear 7th grade diary, as I’m filling you in on these final lines, I wanna say I’m glad to have you for sharing all that I went through. Woa, I sound like I’m talking to a book. LOL well, I’m running out of space, but I am starting a new diary for 8th grade. Soooo goodbye!

LYL TTYL xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sweet Summertime

A poem by me, Camille

By day, we hung out by the pool

By nite, we roamed the streets which we ruled

Days were lazy, nites were crazy

Just walkin’ around with nothing to do

Boys being jerks, shouting “Screw You!”

Girls having their usual boy craze

Ah, those sweet summertime days

Talk about something, talk about nothing

People thinking they were cool, when they were just bluffin

Catching the sun, making a run

Just chillin’ out, never a doubt

Cannonbals and bellyflops

To us, the fun would never stop

So sweet, so fine

Summer was mine

Ah, those sweet summertime days

Relaxing in the sunny rays

Love grew, we knew it was true

You can feel it in the air

There’s just not a care

So laid-back, that was our style

Being with you made it worth my while

We would whine “I don’t wanna go back to school!”

We wanted to stay here, that’s where we felt cool

The summer days are numbered, they’re drifting by

How quickly time flies

So-long warm sunny rays

Goodbye sweet summertime days

7-28-05

Hey I know it’s been almost 3 months since I last wrote (sorry!) I’m am gonna start a new year book dedicated to my 8th grade year at Holy Cross! I want to remember it all, and I promise to write almost every day. LOL

Well, the lazy days of summer are drifting by. Nothing really is going on. Footloose is going great! (I’ll write about Footloose later)

But anyway as you know, Allen and me have been well, “over”. Well, he did wanna go out with me again. But I said no, I do have a little thing called self-respect! I just wanna BF to hang with and talk about stuff. Yea, rite, like I’ll every find a guy like that. Well, I started to think that Allen is a total jerk (well he is), but for some odd reason, I can’t stop thinking about him. I wouldn’t call it love, but there’s something. No matter how hard I try to hate him, I can’t. I know I’m ridiculously dumb when I say this because I’m so young, but I feel lonely sometimes. Yeah it sounds dumb I know, but I get lonely. Maybe this very minute he’s wishing we could be together. There’s always maybes, but I wish I knew the truth.

Wow I feel a lot better now. Well I’m gonna go to bed, nite.

PS This is my last entry in my 7th grade diary, I’ll start my new one soon. xoxoxo

I hate you but I love you!!!!

5-23-05

Heyy. I had a really good weekend. On Saturday, Cross did really good. I didn’t make it for the 200 or the 100 in Archdiocesans. Rachel made it for the 200 though. I’m surprised cuz I’m way faster than her. But our relay team came in first! That night, I went over Rachel’s and helped her watch her little cousins. They are super cute and bossy. They liked me. I was pushing them on the swings at the playground. After that, we went to Gems with her mom and cousins. And guess who were there? All of the guys. Her mom wouldn’t let us go out with them, so talked with them for awhile. They tried to convince us to go out with them. And when I got home, my mom told me that they called. I was really surprised LOL.

On Sunday, I went to mass and then I went to the HCS sports banquet. It was a blast! We all got maroon fleece blankets. Each year, an 8th grader from each sport gets the Christian Athlete award. I really hope I get it. I’ll see next year.

I really can’t believe I’m going to be in 8th grade! Then I’m off to high school, out in the real world. Oh yea, on Friday, I went over Becky’s and stuff happened that I can’t say, even in here!

Today, I had an orthodontist appointment, so I got to school late. I had guitar after school. I have a new teacher! His name is Matt and he’s really nice. I kinda like him better than Jimmy. His room is bigger, and I’m actually learning. I don’t know what happened to Jimmy, maybe he got fired. Hopefully not. Well GTG, TTYL.

5-20-05

Hey. What’s up? Guess what?! I have Areas tomorrow! I’m so nervous. I was telling Cameron about it online and he said “Don’t mess up”. Haha, he’s a cool guy.

I’ve really had it with Ethan! He is sooo mean and obnoxious. What a jerk. I really don’t feel like talking about him though.

I got a 100 on my Social Studies test today, so that was good. It’s so rainy today. I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow. Rainy weather is not very good to run in.

You know what I was thinking? I wonder if my diary will be discovered in like 100 years or something. People would know what life in 2005 was like. Maybe they would publish a book about me! Haha I highly doubt it. But that would be pretty neat.

Recently, I’ve been interested in the sisterhood. After mass sometimes, I really feel the need to serve God. I wanna have children though, I know I’m only 13 but even the youngest of children can serve God. I just hope I don’t become too stressed about this situation. Well it’s dinner. I’ll write l8er ❤